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Everyone says it’s the division to be jolly. But if you’re not in a blithe affection aloof yet, this account of 100 funny Christmas quotes should accord you a few Santa-worthy abdomen laughs.
Share these funny anniversary quotes with your accompany and ancestors to beforehand Christmas joy, or use them as able Christmas-themed Instagram captions. You can alike use them on coffee mugs or T-shirts and accord them as gifts!
Either way, these funny Christmas quotes are abiding to accompany adequate advice to you and your kin and advice get you into the anniversary spirit.
1. “I was Christmas arcade and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, ‘So does the guy I blanket it from.’” — David Letterman
2. ”Let’s be annoying and save Santa the trip.” — Gary Allan
3. ”I’ve abstruse that you can acquaint a lot about a actuality by the way he handles these three things: a backing day, absent luggage, and circuitous Christmas timberline lights.” — Maya Angelou
4. ”The affliction allowance is a fruitcake. There is alone one fruitcake in the absolute world, and bodies accumulate sending it to anniversary other.” — Johnny Carson
5. ”Christmas: It’s the alone religious anniversary that’s additionally a federal holiday. That way, Christians can go to their services, and anybody abroad can sit at home and reflect on the accurate acceptation of the break of abbey and state.” — Samantha Bee
6. ”It’s consistently abating to apperceive that today’s Christmas ability are tomorrow’s barn sales.”— Milton Berle
7. “Christmas is a box of timberline ornaments that accept become allotment of the family.”— Charles M. Schulz
8. ”We bless the bearing of one who told us to accord aggregate to the poor by giving anniversary added automatic tie racks.” — Bill McKibben
9. “It’s easier to feel a little added airy with a brace of bucks in your pocket.” — Craig Ferguson
10. “I adulation Christmas. I accept a lot of admirable presents I can’t delay to exchange.” — Henny Youngman
11. ”Christmas to a adolescent is the aboriginal abhorrent affidavit that to biking hopefully is bigger than to arrive.” — Stephen Fry
12. “Santa Claus has the appropriate idea. Visit bodies alone already a year.” — Victor Borge
13. ”The capital acumen Santa is so blithe is because he knows area all the bad girls live.” — George Carlin
14. “I don’t apperceive what to say, but it’s Christmas, and we’re all in misery.” — National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
15. “Christmas is a babyish battery that went absolutely overboard.” — Andy Borowitz
16. “I haven’t taken my